Licking arse doesn't get you anywhere. It may make you closer to people for a short period of time, but it makes others dislike you for longer. I love uni life dont get me wrong, but it's getting pretty damn boring nowadays. It's all just one big competition.
I feel judged 24/7. Judged for what I wear, for what I say and for what I do. I used to think it was jealousy sometimes, how wrong was that. Im not judged in a ' ooh I'm interested in what you're doing' kinda way, no, I'm judged for that person to wonder how to better themselves and be the centre of attention, them thinking of how to shut me up so they can discuss themselves. I'm sick and tired of the dirty looks, sick of people getting in a strop as I spend time with people who those who judge think are 'theirs'. Sick and tired of the competition of seeing how many times you can say that mutual friends name in a sentence, once again like they are 'yours'. I feel judged for spending time with my own friends, my boyfriend, anyone.
But those who judge are nothing. Mindless people who just need to get out more and experience life or to be honest just fuck off. I'm sick and tired of feeling bad for doing things. Feeling bad for wanting to see people one on one, like it's not allowed. Sick and tired of doing stuff for people for it to go completely unnoticed. People moan that their life's not good enough, there's always some fucking problem. Whether it's a guy or a girl, unrequited love, money or family. They think the world's going to end with their measly problems, yet no-one actually cares.
I have only one problem recently, and the problem is all of you.
If you took two seconds to crawl out of your own self-centred boxes where everyones competing for popularity or friendships, you might see that the people closest to you need to speak themselves instead of listening continuously to you. I've sat for hours on end listening to you, sleepless nights, put my life on hold, cancelled plans just to listen to your pointless childish "problems". I ask all of you, when have you ever done it for me, or for anyone else.
Lets just stop all the bullshit, nothings ever that amazing, no night was ever that good, nothing was ever that funny.
Lets stop all the lick arse. Stop all the public displays of lick arse. One person might love the way you're sucking up to them, but everyone else just thinks you're a twat.
Lets stop talking about ourselves, you might actually be better off for it.
This isn't playschool, this is adult life. Grow up and shut up and get on with things. Really, seriously, no-one gives a shit about you or your so-called problems. So dont make me stop my life to listen to them. They're nothing.
My friends are my friends, whether they are yours too. Get over it, and dont you dare even think to judge me.
Love from the bitchings and rantings of the mad woman, I told
you I was going to let it all out on here. xx